Ask anyone who knows me what kind of player they think I am and they will probably have the same answer: a nice one. Maybe too nice.

Mind you, we’re not talking about Burnout or any other destructive racing game, where my goal in life is to personally destroy every contender several times over. I am not in it to win it; I am in it to murder your car.

Now, you probably don’t believe me to be one of the nicest players to walk the virtual fields of video games. Take this example: when my friends and I were playing a game once, I was given the option of advancing myself forward one space or pulling a player back three spaces. This player, who is also my best friend and is in fact a very mean player, was primed to win. Pulling him back would have meant that I was next in line. Due to the fact that I am such a nice person, I opted out of doing the ultimately beneficial action and instead chose to advance one measly space.

Knowing all this, imagine this scenario: I am playing Civilization V. Every computer player in the game has just finished denouncing me. Shoot, some of them denounced me as soon as they met me, and all I did was trade them my Iron for their Wool! Sure, I may have wiped out Ghandi and Montezuma, but c’mon, CPU dudes. My military advisor told me to!

What’s my next move? Total. Domination. Why the sudden switch from stupidly nice to supreme jerk? Well, let’s see…

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